It has been a faithful 5 years i guess since last I said I love you or I miss you... Surely time has flew and somewhere in my life you still are someone that I cant let go of.
3 days I have been awake by the wrench in my heart. I miss you, I dont want you to go, but who am I to ask you to stay? I can only bless you.
I comfort myself by telling myself that this separation is for the best of us.. maybe its time for us to move on with our lives...
I never thought second separation can be this hard too... How many years Have i been avoiding heartache? Now, I got to face it no matter what, no where to run but to stand and say my last bye.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
A little wish upon the stars
Halo... hehehe i know i know that so many of you out there miss me (yeah right, like there is ppl reading this blog)...
Aniway, I mentioned about writing new blog, but due to my timing I cant start it yet.. And, now I have in mind far more interesting project.
For this year, I din set many goals, but I set, instead, two.. wait THREE big goals for 2010. what are they?
1. Some of you might have known by now that I am planning to open my own dessert shop. So I am focusing myself on realizing this plan. :) My 2 friends and I are working on this project.
2. To draw near and to love God more each day. It is a very broad goal but I have in mind what to do(s).
3. To settle down! ha ha ha need I to explain more? Those of you who close to me know that I've been wanting to hear my own wedding bells (not others) ha ha ha.. and God, I pray, You know me more than myself... Please let me be a beautiful-charming-cute-sweet bride by 2011... Please let me find someone that I want to love, I want to care for, and I want to share all my laughter and tears together for the rest of my days.
yeah those are my 3 goals.
Since I came back Indonesia, I have been truly blessed in many ways.
I have learn to know what would my life be without God, I have learn to draw a line between lust and desire, I have learn to be more patience and now I am yet to learn to be more loving.
In all my imperfections, God still sees me as His perfect creation. In all my imperfections God still accepted me. I learn to forgive myself. I have learn to forgive others but there is one I forgot to forgive all these while, myself. It is crucial, as I forgive myself, I made peace with myself and I enjoy my walk with God more.
I wanna thank God, thank Pastor Kevin, Shirley Boon and Sandy Tay who have been a great friend for me. Apart from God, these 3 people are the ones that helped me through my hardship in 2009.
on the happier side, my friend Juju is getting married this Nov. We all are so excited and happy for her. Having your best friend to have her moment is so delightful.
There is a bit of envy but hey, who wouldn't? It is every girl (normal ones) dream. To wear that white dress, beautifully walking down the aisle to meet the man who is waiting at the altar, adoring you as you walk down that aisle.
Come on.. apart from all the stress of the preparation, the moment to walk down that aisle is my dream. :)
God, I pray, I really wanna be a bride, a wife...I not only want wedding but marriage, a beautiful, anointed, God-fearing marriage. I want to be a loving wife to my husband, a loving mother to my son (will be named Gregory) and daugther (not yet named), a loving daugther in law to me in laws, a loving daugther to my parents. God, I uphold this desire to Your hands. *blush*
Ok aniwei... he he he.. its 11.18pm... I am going to sleep... Cant believe how early I sleep these days...
Ciao~~
Aniway, I mentioned about writing new blog, but due to my timing I cant start it yet.. And, now I have in mind far more interesting project.
For this year, I din set many goals, but I set, instead, two.. wait THREE big goals for 2010. what are they?
1. Some of you might have known by now that I am planning to open my own dessert shop. So I am focusing myself on realizing this plan. :) My 2 friends and I are working on this project.
2. To draw near and to love God more each day. It is a very broad goal but I have in mind what to do(s).
3. To settle down! ha ha ha need I to explain more? Those of you who close to me know that I've been wanting to hear my own wedding bells (not others) ha ha ha.. and God, I pray, You know me more than myself... Please let me be a beautiful-charming-cute-sweet bride by 2011... Please let me find someone that I want to love, I want to care for, and I want to share all my laughter and tears together for the rest of my days.
yeah those are my 3 goals.
Since I came back Indonesia, I have been truly blessed in many ways.
I have learn to know what would my life be without God, I have learn to draw a line between lust and desire, I have learn to be more patience and now I am yet to learn to be more loving.
In all my imperfections, God still sees me as His perfect creation. In all my imperfections God still accepted me. I learn to forgive myself. I have learn to forgive others but there is one I forgot to forgive all these while, myself. It is crucial, as I forgive myself, I made peace with myself and I enjoy my walk with God more.
I wanna thank God, thank Pastor Kevin, Shirley Boon and Sandy Tay who have been a great friend for me. Apart from God, these 3 people are the ones that helped me through my hardship in 2009.
on the happier side, my friend Juju is getting married this Nov. We all are so excited and happy for her. Having your best friend to have her moment is so delightful.
There is a bit of envy but hey, who wouldn't? It is every girl (normal ones) dream. To wear that white dress, beautifully walking down the aisle to meet the man who is waiting at the altar, adoring you as you walk down that aisle.
Come on.. apart from all the stress of the preparation, the moment to walk down that aisle is my dream. :)
God, I pray, I really wanna be a bride, a wife...I not only want wedding but marriage, a beautiful, anointed, God-fearing marriage. I want to be a loving wife to my husband, a loving mother to my son (will be named Gregory) and daugther (not yet named), a loving daugther in law to me in laws, a loving daugther to my parents. God, I uphold this desire to Your hands. *blush*
Ok aniwei... he he he.. its 11.18pm... I am going to sleep... Cant believe how early I sleep these days...
Ciao~~
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Sunday, November 01, 2009
New Exciting Lifestyle Blogging on The Making
Erm, i am planning to coming up with a new concept of blogging... ideas are still blur for now, but i wanna something like a lifestyle blogging where ppl can come and find what they need in a single blog... well... be it the latest gadgets, where to find, place to stay on vacation or just a place to rant (for the readers of course)...
what the benefit?
well once i heard in radio, networking is not about how many ppl you know but rather how many ppl know you... I need to put myself in the map first. Online is a medium to get me connected to all sort of ppl...
so, while i am revamping my new blog, and getting my ideas clear, i will keep on blogging here hahaha... well this blog is pretty much my whole little journal..
Oh yeah, thats all for now...
keeping my fingers crossed
astalavista~~
what the benefit?
well once i heard in radio, networking is not about how many ppl you know but rather how many ppl know you... I need to put myself in the map first. Online is a medium to get me connected to all sort of ppl...
so, while i am revamping my new blog, and getting my ideas clear, i will keep on blogging here hahaha... well this blog is pretty much my whole little journal..
Oh yeah, thats all for now...
keeping my fingers crossed
astalavista~~
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Roller Coaster, who scared?
June
July
August
September
October
5 months of roller coaster life... its not easy... but i will continue fight back...
next stop:
I will post the Great Oz pictures
Update on life with Jesus
My next plan on my business...
July
August
September
October
5 months of roller coaster life... its not easy... but i will continue fight back...
next stop:
I will post the Great Oz pictures
Update on life with Jesus
My next plan on my business...
Friday, October 23, 2009
for once, let me say how I HATE MY CURRENT SEASON OF LIFE
it is hard to deal with parents... sometimes they are easy to talk too sometimes they just refuse to understand us for they thought that they know what is best for us, which sometimes it might be wrong..
it is not pleasant to argue with parents.... the guilt and regret always come later... yet you dun know how to apologize because sometimes it is just not your fault and it's truly unfair and a non-sense...
it is very discouraging when day by day what you got is negative input from parents, looking down at you, picking on every single mistakes you make and dont even bother at your achievement or improvement..
it is very suffocating when you dont have your own space just to cry... to wash off those frown on your face, to wash off those anger in your heart..
it is hurtful when you are blamed for something you are not..
it is hurtful when your love for parents is taken for granted...
it is hurtful to hear 'you will never ever go far in your life' what does that suppose to mean?
it is mean to say that your own freaking daughter doesnt love you, and only care for you because you are one wealthy old man... i aint gold digger
it is even more shameful when you know above all these, you are still depending on your parents...
i have no whatsoever to be proud of... i have nothing else left but a piece of heart that truly care and love my parents but do they know that? apparently they DONT...
it is the feeling of being beaten down till you cant get up, even when u get up, you cant take up your face to look up because you are too embarrassed....
i think now, i really dun know how to love my parents...
they said i dont understand them, but do they understand me?
i dont freaking mind to be a good listener for them, but i am not rubbish bin to accept all their bitterness and anger...
why???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
P.S. no further question will be entertained by me, I MEAN IT
it is not pleasant to argue with parents.... the guilt and regret always come later... yet you dun know how to apologize because sometimes it is just not your fault and it's truly unfair and a non-sense...
it is very discouraging when day by day what you got is negative input from parents, looking down at you, picking on every single mistakes you make and dont even bother at your achievement or improvement..
it is very suffocating when you dont have your own space just to cry... to wash off those frown on your face, to wash off those anger in your heart..
it is hurtful when you are blamed for something you are not..
it is hurtful when your love for parents is taken for granted...
it is hurtful to hear 'you will never ever go far in your life' what does that suppose to mean?
it is mean to say that your own freaking daughter doesnt love you, and only care for you because you are one wealthy old man... i aint gold digger
it is even more shameful when you know above all these, you are still depending on your parents...
i have no whatsoever to be proud of... i have nothing else left but a piece of heart that truly care and love my parents but do they know that? apparently they DONT...
it is the feeling of being beaten down till you cant get up, even when u get up, you cant take up your face to look up because you are too embarrassed....
i think now, i really dun know how to love my parents...
they said i dont understand them, but do they understand me?
i dont freaking mind to be a good listener for them, but i am not rubbish bin to accept all their bitterness and anger...
why???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
P.S. no further question will be entertained by me, I MEAN IT
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sunday blues?
Huhuhuhu i miss Paris.. i really need my hair to be cut and colored... sigh... thts one major part why i dislike staying here... i cant get a proper hair cut...
aniwei...
i got a book by Mitch Albom: Have a Little Faith...
'Til then..
astalavista~~
aniwei...
i got a book by Mitch Albom: Have a Little Faith...
'Til then..
astalavista~~
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