indecisiveness

indecisive... thts what made me an unique person i guess...

i can be so indecisive that sometimes i wonder why God choose me to be a leader? i seem to be awful to make decision for myself and often i made the wrong choices, not a bad one but usually after i made mine, it always appears a better one... however, through all those wrong decisions that God has brought me to where i am now.

i admit that i am still very far away from my dreams.. i dream to be an event organizer, i dream to have a little cozy house, i dream to have my own little family, i dream to go around the world...

whenever i am facing a crossroad, i have no patience in waiting, i always wanted things to be done fast or i would have ran away before i got the right answer. hence, many times i end up hurting people and myself, end up to made bad decisions.

however, when it comes to other's farewell, i seem to be so quick in judgment and making the necessary decision and it mostly is a good decision... i wonder, is it me? or is it how God wired me when He created me?

sometimes i wonder, may be God let me to go through all the bad decisions in my life so that people around me would not repeat the same mistakes i did... was this my calling? or is it because i just unwilling to improve myself?

or is it my nature to take risk? i am always the risk taker in family.. i do seem as the play-safe-girl in appearance, but i do like to take the risk, grasp the challenge in front of my eyes though i know i might fail badly... i love the feeling knowing that im doing something that is beyond my ability.. is it because of this that i always make bad decision?

now that i am facing another major crossroad of my life, what should i do? this time round, i cant afford to make a wrong decision and this is a decision only i can hit the hammer and make the final of it.

B.L.A.N.K

see this is the problem when u r once again got so intimate with your laptop...


i dunno what to think

T____________T

today... i got a new haircut... its pretty good but still i miss Paris... :( he is da best!!! i just feel more secure when he cut my hair... Paris u come indon la!!

tomorrow is mommy's bday.. gonna have lunch with her and the big family.. we have 3 june babes at home... he he he...

oh i got 2 hillsong's CDs and one Don Moen's CD... woohoo.. cool.. mommy thanks for the red packet oh...

ermmmm i do hope i made the right move this time round... i kinda insecure in a way la...

well im sleepy...

nitezz..

ciaozz~~

25th year...

Quote of the week "geli si lo" ok... its not event english... but it's hokkien precisely...

well... usually around this time i would have pretty much talked bout my birthday celebration, but this year round i dunno should i talked bout it or not... it was a 180 degree different from my 25-year-bday-celebration...

age 1 - 6 : it was always a party at home with cakes and good home cooked food, friends from the neighborhood...

age 7 - 14 : well... i cant remember, but for sure i din have any kind of celebration hence i settle with the fact that birthday is just another normal day. family also went through rough patches, so who on earth bother bout birthday eh?

age 15 - 17 : i was in malaysia, living in hostel. it wasnt always a grand birthday but being with my friends and their effort to make my birthday special is everything. its kind of survival thingy we did so that we can stay positive in negative environment hahahaha was my hostel that bad?

age 18 - 20 : i was in inti... birthday was normal with my friends but i was a happy girl too..

age 21 - 24 : i think these 4 years was the best birthday i ever had.... hahahaha... i am a happy girl....

age 25 .......... wahahahahah.. i dunno what to say but i am blessed still but there is something that make this year bday different...

what i got: a lot lot of panda cookies, godiva chocolate, Christian Audigier shirt, angpao, a bag, and a lot more to come la to those who already promised to give me a present hahahaha...

aniwei.... now that i am sick... kinda sick..... i need to lie down more... hahaha.. and watch my DVD...

i miss all my friends in malaysia... boooooo

i miss my best friends in sg....

i miss my CG members....

and i miss Jesus too...


ciaozz~~

do u miss me??

oh well.. you once wise man says when we are stuck in some unfortunate events, just make opportunities out of it... dont need to guess who the wise man is, but i think its true enough for my situation now... i am now doing a job that i dun like and it seems that i will stuck here pretty long or worst still i cant get out of this job ever.. but now, i think i will just make good opportunities out of it, learn to love my job and do something that will impact my life and ppl around me!

i am not happy and so desperate but i cant stay in that kind of state forever, aint i?

anihow... i think i just have an idea but this idea have to be done slowly.. very slow.. why? because i need to gather support! i need to do site survey...

i am on diet...

i bought a dress last saturday and me loving it! hehe...

i will get married next year, i will get married next year, i will get married next year *keep on chanting*

oh yeah, did i tell u that i am now 25? hahaha did i tell u that my birthday is very very soon??????? hahahaahahhaha please donate to my tabung ok in order for me to buy a coach bag and 99.9 Gold? hahaha... pretty please?

oh ya... yesterday i watched, wait its rewatched, House season 3, so in one of its episodes,there is this couple that turn out to be half brother and sister.. how scary is that? with the current rate, i think in the future it can actually happen.. why i say so?

nowadays, a lot of ppl got married and got divorce multiple times, they have kids with different spouses, and the next generation might not know that they are related unless they keep in touch after they got divorce...

and not only that, what about those sleeping around?

well... this society is getting chaotic..

ok anihow... i am getting a very low paid here.. booooo....

oh btw.. since now DVDs here are very cheap, i've been buying load of DVDs... hahahaha i can be a DVD seller...

ok thts bout me...


ciaozz~~